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So, as all of you know from my last post – we went to Scalini’s for the
eggplant parmesan on Sunday evening. Who knows if it really worked or not, but
I do know that I went into labor less than 48 hours later and Violet Sophia is
now in our arms! If anyone is on the fence about hiring a birth photographer: do it, but make sure they have lots of experience. You won't regret it! I wish we had done this with Lily as well, but I didn't really know birth photography was an option two years ago.
I share my birth stories on this blog for two reasons: (1) I want a record of it for myself since I began this blog for that purpose. It's the way I record all of our memories and milestones, and a lot of our friends and extended family keep up with us this way. (2) Those of you who know me well know that I am an advocate for unmedicated and natural, normal childbirth in normal and healthy pregnancies without complications. I want women to know that they don't HAVE to accept the modern medical mindset of birth as a condition they need to be treated for and "saved from". I want women to be educated about their options when it comes to prenatal care and birth, and take the time to make actual decisions for themselves to have the best birth experience possible. For me, the best experience possible is a birth where I labor and deliver with no epidural or narcotic drugs or rules restricting me from eating and drinking or having to have an IV being pumped with fluids, and just allow and trust my body to do what it was designed to do. By sharing my birth stories, I hope to let women know that they absolutely CAN experience natural and unmedicated childbirth and that it's such a beautiful gift and not anything to be afraid of! I can't wait to have another baby and another awesome birth experience - that's how much I have loved delivering my two little girls.
Lily's birth story is here, and quite different than Violet's, for those of you who weren't readers back then or want to read it again!
Here we go....
On Monday the 14th, Ethan let me sleep in until 11 AM. It was SO
nice. He went to work, and then came home from around midnight and he and I
stayed up talking for a bit. I was still awake because I guess I just wasn’t tired
from having tons of sleep that morning and from the weekend. Around 1:30 AM
though my lower back started feeling weird and crampy, and I remembered that
feeling with Lily. I decided to go to bed just in case.
Tuesday morning (October 15) we were all up by 9, and my back was still
hurting. I’d had a few random contractions that felt different than my
prodromal labor from the past week, so I thought, “Hm.” I asked Ethan if he
could call my practice to find out if the GBS results were in since I still
hadn’t heard back. They called back around noon to let me know the results were
negative. BIG sigh of relief. If the results had been positive it would have
resulted in an automatic 48 hour hospital stay with frequent room visits for
observation. We then left to go to Target because I wanted to see what would
happen if I walked around. At Target, I was having mild contractions and I felt
like I was having them closer together as time went on but wasn’t timing them
or anything. When we got home we put Lily down for her nap. We started cleaning
the house (well, Ethan did way more of the cleaning than I did) and I had to
stop for a few of them. I realized that this just might be the beginning of the
real deal, so I texted my doula at 1:30 to tell her what was going on. I then texted my sister, Caroline, and told her I
was pretty sure that I was in labor and she should head on down. She texted
back asking if I was really sure but then decided she was driving straight down
and left work immediately.
My doula (Alice) and I decided that Ethan shouldn’t go into work that day and
that I’d text her when I felt like it was time for her to come. I hopped on my
exercise ball and bounced for 30 minutes while Ethan heated up lunch in the
oven (French bread pizza). By the time lunch was ready, I texted Alice and
asked her to plan to arrive around 4ish. I then texted Minnie A (Aneli)
who works as a nanny down the street and made arrangements for Ethan to take
Lily to her once Alice was with me.
Lily woke up around 3:30 PM and I took the opportunity to
spend some time with her and nurse her for the last time as my only child. We
were sitting on the couch looking into each other’s eyes and I lost it thinking
about the past (almost) two years of her being my only baby and realizing
that those days were likely over today with the arrival of her sibling. She's my little sidekick and a total mama's girl in addition to being my mini-me. She is SO much fun. I was
prepared for the crying since I was pretty sure I was going to cry at some point over
something due to the hormone surge before labor. During my prodromal labor, I cried over the fact that Lily stepped on my big toe and ruined my freshly applied polish on it. (I kid you not) Ethan took it all in
stride and my cryfest was over in about 2 minutes. I did take a picture of us together before he took her to Aneli... you know me, I document everything.
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| Last photo of Lily and I as our only child (and yes, I'm in labor here) |
Alice got caught in a little traffic and arrived at 4:15,
and Ethan headed off to take Lily to Aneli and then came back and busied
himself while Alice and I hung out. Alice started timing my contractions at
that point since I felt like they were getting pretty regular, and sure enough,
they were. Contractions went from 5 minutes apart and 30 seconds to 4 minutes
apart and 40-45 seconds pretty quickly. With Lily, my water broke at the
beginning of labor – with this labor it did not. So the contractions were much
more intense than with Lily but I handled them just fine – sitting cross legged
on the couch just like with Lily for most of them and picking back up in
conversation in between. Alice is just so cool, having her with us is like
hanging out with a fun friend and just chatting about whatever. I told Alice
that the playbook for this one was starting from scratch because my labor was
already so different than Lily’s. I also talked about the fact that while I
wanted the option of laboring in water I wasn’t really sure about if I wanted a
waterbirth this time and that we could just play it by ear. I knew that if I
did get into the tub it would only be for contraction management and that if I
did choose to deliver in the birthing pool I would not get into it until RIGHT when I had
the urge to push.
My sister arrived at 5:45 PM and hung out with Alice and I
chatting as well. It was wonderful to have her there too since she knows me so
well and immediately knew when I needed water or when I needed silence. Ethan took the opportunity to go and get
a shower, shave, etc. I think Caroline enjoyed the experience of seeing me in labor
– she remarked that I make it look incredibly easy, which I’ll take as a
compliment. Really, for me: labor is mental. (And anyone who knows me will tell you that I have a will of steel) When a contraction starts I focus on
the contraction and going as limp as possible, and I “meet and welcome” the
contraction. I don’t try to “run away” from it or make it more comfortable. If
it’s uncomfortable, I know that my body is doing the work it needs to do and
that progress is being made. Around 6:15 I started having to vocalize during
some of the contractions or blow my lips in a flapping pattern (think like a horse) until the peak
of them. And yes, I mooed like a cow this time around a la Ina May Gaskin just to make Ethan laugh.
;) (it was a joke that I would moo in labor with Lily but I never did since I
didn’t vocalize with her through contractions). Alice called the
practice and we found out the midwife on call was Gloria, who I had just met at
my last appointment and really liked. Gloria said it sounded like it was time
to come in and to come whenever I felt ready. I knew it wasn't going to be much longer before I was ready to head in, and I was right.
At 7 PM I decided it was time to go. Contractions were
3 minutes apart and 90 seconds to 2 minutes long, so we picked up our hospital
bag and walked out the door. I was able to get into the elevator before having a contraction and then get to the car. We had a little traffic on the way so we arrived
at the hospital around 7:20. During the drive I was vocalizing in low tones through all of
the contractions because they were just so strong that it was necessary. When I walked into the lobby of our hospital and
immediately sat down in a wheelchair by the door to get through another contraction (I kept silent this time), the lobby security staff started FREAKING out. It was
hilarious to see their faces... imagine a show where they play a prank on unsuspecting people, and that was the general reaction – I think they thought I was just going to have a baby
right there. I just held up one finger while I got through the contraction and
when I was done I reassured them that I was fine but needed to be escorted up
to labor and delivery. They got us up there, and Ethan rolled me up to the
check in desk. “Ma’am, what brings you here today?” I flashed a big smile and
said, “I’m here to have a baby!” I could see the looks of “Yeah right, not
anytime soon” on the nursing staff’s faces but it didn’t bother me this time
like last time. I knew I wasn’t crazy and that it was only a matter of time
before they all realized that too. They wheeled me to a triage room and started
the fetal monitoring right away for the required 20 minutes for waterbirth
clearance. My contractions were really getting intense at this point. Alice and
Caroline arrived shortly after, and so did our birth photographer, Sarah. She
started setting up her camera and getting ready to capture everything. The pressure
just kept getting stronger and stronger with each contraction. Gloria walked in the room in between
contractions when I was chatting with everyone. She looked at me and I could see she was a little bit skeptical.
She said, “You’re smiling an awful lot.” I looked at her and replied, “This is me in labor, I promise you!” She nodded her head and
looked at the contraction printout and saw how long and strong they were. Can't fake contractions on that printout!
This is the point where things got a little crazy. We’re all sitting
there and everyone hears over the monitor what sounds like the baby kicking one
of the fetal monitors. Well… it was my water breaking, and let me tell you – my
water breaking this time was like a giant balloon literally exploding, and the force in
which the water broke was truly amazing. I looked over at the clock and it was
7:55 PM. Everyone said the look on my face was something else. I was all
worried I wouldn’t know when it broke like with Lily but there was NO mistaking
this. I was still in my pajama pants so they helped me get those off and put a
sheet up over my legs for privacy. Gloria decided to do her internal check
since my water had broken and I noticed she didn’t have to go very far… she
stepped back and looked at me and said, “Want to guess how dilated you are?” I
told her I had no idea since I was an 8 with Lily when they checked me and that
shocked me. She smiled and said, “Well, you’re at a 9!” Gloria then left to go see if
they could get a labor & delivery room and said I needed to keep the
monitors on for just another 5 minutes. She came back and informed us that
there were no L&D rooms available since they were all full, and waterbirth
wasn’t going to be an option.
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| Ethan holding my hand |
Ethan was holding my hand and looked a little concerned that I wouldn’t
react well to this news, but I just looked at her and said “Oh okay, oh well then!”
At that moment I had some of the strongest contractions I have ever had and I
then felt the baby’s head start crowning. I looked at her and I calmly said,
“You need to look under the sheet. The baby’s head is right there.” She was
putting her hair up in a ponytail and putting on her gloves, and I remember
thinking “Seriously, you need to look right now, because this baby is coming
out and there’s not a thing I can do about it….” She looked, and sure enough
there was the head. As soon as she looked, my body started pushing on its own, and two
pushes later, I had a little baby with a beautifully round head and thick super dark brown hair (just like Ethan) on my chest. The look on my face below says it all... I was still in a little bit of shock at just how fast my labor went - less than 8 hours all together if you count from when I thought I might be in labor, and less than 4 from the time contractions were time able.
The cord was not wrapped around the baby anywhere (with Lily it was
around her neck) and the baby was instantly very calm once on my chest. Ethan
looked at the clock and it was 8:07 PM. He also looked to see if we had a boy or a
girl, and was able to announce it to me this time unlike with Lily when I got impatient waiting for him to flip her around. I held Violet until the cord stopped pulsing,
and delivered the placenta shortly after in one push. My sister Caroline did the honors and cut the cord. When Violet was weighed and
measured an hour later we learned she was 8.5 pounds and 21 inches long… a full
pound and a half heavier than Lily. Lily was born at 38 weeks and 2 days, and Violet was born at 39 weeks and 2 days. Amazing the difference one week can make in
a baby’s weight! As note, no: we don't name our children after flowers. Violet is a color too. ;) We wanted something that had the same number of syllables and had the same flow as Lily Catherine, and Violet Sophia was a perfect fit!
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| Not too happy (Ethan was checking to see if it was a boy or girl here) |
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| Probably one of my favorite photos ever. |
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| I'm not kidding when I say that Violet looks like Lily's twin as a newborn in this photo |
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| I love the look on Violet's face |
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| Super chill and calm, just like her big sister. |
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| She grabbed hold of my finger and didn't let go |
Alice went to go grab some dinner for me and brought me back a chocolate milkshake and chicken fettucine alfredo. I was so hungry and wolfed it down right away. We then called my parents on FaceTime (so thankful for technology!) and were able to see their faces when we shared the news. It was after 9 at this point so we decided we would call our other immediate family members in the morning. We signed a bunch of paperwork and were officially admitted (haha, after she was born!) to the mother baby ward for the night. Violet took to nursing right away. Nursing so far has been really easy - not sure if it's because I never stopped nursing in between babies or what, but I'm thankful for this!
The next morning, Caroline brought Lily to meet her baby sister. We told her mommy's baby was out. She had this look of amazement and wonder on her face. It was SO sweet and so cute. I'll just share a few photos of that first encounter here. I didn't have my camera at the ready so I just snapped some shots with my iPhone. Lily's face says it all. We also had our first tandem nursing experience at the hospital. I wasn't sure if I would try and nurse both at the same time, but Lily didn't leave me much choice since she was so insistent on having her milkies! :)
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| Elated! |
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| If you couldn't tell, Lily ADORES her Aunt Caroline. We know Violet will too! |
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I am SO thankful Caroline was able to be here for Violet's birth.
I look forward to seeing my two girls have the sister relationship I'm so blessed to have with mine! |
Violet's hearing was tested in the afternoon and she passed in both ears right away. All we had to do was wait until she was 24 hours old to do the PKU and bili testing... so we spent the day just hanging out. Lily and Caroline came back in the evening to bring us dinner, and it was nice to spend more time with our girls all as a family - AND to see my sister again before she left to go home to Charlotte. We were discharged and home around 10:30 PM, where Aneli was waiting for us. It was so nice to get into my shower and take a shower at home and then crawl into my own bed. The first night went just fine, and Lily was so happy to see us in the morning. Ethan is off for the next 8 weeks, and we're just holing up and enjoying spending time together as a family of 4. The adjustment from 1 to 2 has not been difficult, but we're only a couple days in so I'll reserve my final judgement call on that for a bit. ;) We are also fortunate to have a huge support network of family and friends making the adjustment much easier than it would be otherwise. Lily had a difficult time understanding why she couldn't nurse whenever she wanted to while we were waiting for my milk to come in (newborns need first dibs on the colostrum, so she had to wait for Violet to finish) but it didn't take long for it to come in and now she has unrestricted access again, which she's happy about!
We celebrated my 33rd birthday on Friday, October 18th together as a little family of 4 complete with my favorite ice cream cake from Dairy Queen. A lot of people have commented that Violet is a great birthday present... but I want to be clear that she is definitely not a birthday present. She wasn't even born on my birthday! Don't get me wrong, Violet is an amazing gift to our family to be sure and we are incredibly blessed. I just don't want Lily to ever hear that Violet was my birthday present and think that she is any less of a gift to me. Besides, I would never pick having a baby as my birthday present! :)
As a closing note: I just want to take the time to thank the team of people who came together to help make all of this happen completely stress free... Aneli, you will never know just how much it meant to us to know that Lily was with you and happy and having fun! Alice...no words. Thanks for being you and a part of our family! Caroline - think you'll be able to get here in time for round 3? Maybe you should just camp out at our house... ;)
My parents are here (they arrived on Friday night) and have been amazing as always! They have been having a blast with Lily who is loving the attention and fun. Their being here has allowed Ethan and I to sleep and get things organized. There's a ready set of arms to hold Violet when I need to take a break, and mom has been supporting me by making sure I always have water at my bedside and a snack when I need it. And of course.... cooking for us so we don't have to.
I'll end this with some iPhone snapshots of life at home the past couple of days.
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| Napping with daddy |
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| Our girls...Lily is waiting for her turn. |
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