The Making of the Ridge Family

October 26, 2012

Hi all. Grandpa passed away on Wednesday, October 24, around 1:00 AM. My mom and her sister were there with him, and they said it was a very peaceful and painless passing. The Hospice House was absolutely amazing to him and to our whole family. When he passed away, they brought out a candle and placed it in front of his door. Since he was a veteran, they draped him with a flag. When they brought him out to meet the funeral home director, all of the Hospice House staff lined up in rows along the hallway. They prayed for us, and then they thanked us for the privilege of caring for him during his last days. There are rosemary bushes that grow outside on the grounds, and they clipped a sprig for every family member and hung it on his door. It sits in a vase on our table now. Our family was so touched by the love and care from Hospice House that we asked for donations to be directed to them instead of flowers. I know that they have gained a loyal supporter with me. Having a loved one in the end stages of life is incredibly difficult, and they made it so much less so.

We were able to spend a lot of time with him during his last week of life, and for that I am so incredibly thankful. Even the night that he died, I was able to kiss him goodnight and tell him I loved him, and I know he heard me. He was unable to speak at the end, but he made us aware that we were there by trying to speak to us, turning his head in our direction, and attempting to squeeze our hands. Lily got a smile out of him by patting his arm, waving goodbye, and squealing like the little squealbug she is.

For those who have asked: Grandpa was diagnosed with a rare cancer called ocular melanoma. Only 2,500 people each year worldwide are diagnosed with it. It always goes to the liver, and it is just a matter of time. In Grandpa's case, it spread and was extremely aggressive. They ran scans and it had spread to the point that there was nothing that could be done as far as treatment. While I miss my grandfather and wish he had been with us for longer, I am so grateful that he did not suffer and that he came to know Christ. Grieving with the assurance that I will see him again is far better than grieving without. And knowing that he is with Grandma puts a smile on my face. I remember him with a smile, and sometimes with some tears. He was such a wonderful grandfather in so many ways... everything from teaching me to fish when I was just a toddler, to taking us kids to Disney World, and helping me design and build a birdhouse complete with a chimney that I insisted it have. I remember being in the middle of a lake and starting the outboard motor of our little fishing boat....with Grandpa standing up. I was only 11 or 12 years old, and didn't think about the potential consequences of that. Fortunately, he didn't fall into the lake or get hurt. What was really the shocker was that he didn't get mad.... and I certainly learned my lesson on how to operate a boat after that incident.

I know that at 32 years of age, to have three surviving grandparents is very rare. I'm so glad that Grandpa was able to meet Lily and spend as much time with her as he did. I have countless photos of the two of them, and she'll see them when she's older and hear all about him. His memory will live on with us. Lily still has my dad's parents, my beloved grandparents.... I told my grandmother she's not allowed to go anywhere for 26 more years. I'm convinced she will do her best to honor this agreement. ;)

On Thursday, dad announced that our family was going to Myrtle Beach for a spontaneous getaway weekend. After the intense emotional nature of the past three weeks (that's how fast everything happened) he could tell that we would benefit from getting away and just being together as a family. The ocean is so calming to be around, and sure enough, the trip has been just what the doctor ordered. We've all been able to rest, share happy memories, and eat lots of good food. We went to Captain George's seafood buffet where I ate my weight in crab legs. We'll be headed home tomorrow to Charlotte, and then I will be home with my sweet husband on Sunday evening. I will have actually spent more time in Charlotte the month of October than at home. Crazy!

I'll leave you with some photos on the beach today. My dad took some photos of just Lily and I since I'm always the one behind the lens!